Wednesday, August 20, 2014

Day 10:Am i smart? Am i wise?

Bismillah
Hmm.. i have many words to say.. to share during my past 6 days.. but yesterday just a really a worse day for me.. i feel so disappointing.. sad.. bad.. sympathy.. and i do cry..

Today there are situation that really break my heart so much.. two different situation and i don't expect this could be happen.. yes i wish to pull him.. i wish to hug him.. i wish that i could make him calm and run from you.. it's break my heart triple when the eyes looked at me for help but i do nothing.. how bad i am..  yes i do angry.. but i won't let my self to do those kind of things.. yes i do poor my little baby doll.. i feel so much sad that i could say i cry when i'm trying to cure her.. i was shock that stop my heart beating.. but i won't let my self to do the things that you did..  now..i miss my little baby doll.. i want hi 5 with her.. say love her.. looked at her pretty eyes..hmm.. the situation..hmm i was just like a mouse.. and yes yes yes i am just afraid of anything and everything in future happen and that is why i keep quiet..  but please do not let the banana fruit two time.. no and never!

But anyway i still do wrong.. if just i'm earlier.. than it won't happen.. if i'm just more aware, this won't happen.. and both of you won't hurt.. it's different way of hurt but still do make me like the worse one.. and if just i care and concern more.. i promise my baby doll.. you will be fine with me..
Yes this situation.. there are a morale.. there are a value that i can learned from that but i'm afraid of myself getting far from my positive mind.. i'm afraid of not being the good one.. i'm afraid if not being more sincere and chooser.. and i'm more afraid in future that i won't practice that what should i practice with...

Help me Allah.. let me be someone with fair and square.. i'm not ask for perfection.. but don't let me use my hand.. my loud voice for no good..  don't let me Allah.. let me be a someone that special for them.. the one that can make them feel fun.. and the one that can make them feel strong.. please Allah.. keep me motivate myself.. to listen them every words.. and they listen myself to every single word i'm saying.. to not be biased and loved each of them in their own abilities.. Allah keep my eyes good for them.. keep my ear good.for them.. and always good for them.. Aamiin.. Insyaallah

Like the one that i adore said.. and i do really have to balance my mind really well.. i have to control my speak loud words.. and also have to improve my action as well..

The smart will talk immediately.. the wise will pause -AA- yes yes yes.. this is what i have did yesterday.. just now feel like a mouse.. afraid for nothing.. am i the smart? Am i the wise? what shall i do for the coming 90 days.. please let the all good one will i make.. please let me see positive environment.. please don't let me give up.. and let me stay believe from everything that i believe.. 



Love,
teamoHada
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