Saturday, April 25, 2015

Okay.. okay.. aku laksanakan impian kau!

Eh gaduh lagi.. ak dah cuba terima kau.. kelebihan kau kekurangan kau.. tp kelebihan kau tu still xdapat cover diri kau.. kau perasan bagus.. kau perasan diri kau baik sangat.. cara kau cakap macam kaulah semuanya.. kau juga buat orang rasa.. eh aku ka y salah? Padahal kau ni xde apa apun.. kau mengarah.. bossy.. kau konon perfect tp xpun.. cara cakap jer pun.. tu aku puji sebab kau pandai cakap sebab tu orang nampak kononnya kau ni the best.. kau pun rasa diri kau the best.. tapi haram jadah! eh mslh ktbhrni psl kbrshn jer.. tp kau ni xde pembersih mana pun.. sekali seminggu jer pun.. barang kau letak merata.. amanah? Tanggungjawab? Tanya diri kau dulu.. yaa aku pemalas.. that y aku jaga brng2 aku.. aku jaga tmpt yang aku nk guna.. kau ada? Nan hadoo.. minggu lepas kau dah mop lantai jd minggu ni kau nak suruh2 aku la .. ehh penting ka sampai tiap2 minggu nak mop lantai.. better kau p kemas dapur y kau masak y kau potong or koyakkan plastik kau letak merata.. p lap atas kabinet yang berminyakk.. ohh xpun ambil plastik sos cili kau dgn bekas plastik y berkulat atas meja... dan kau mop lantai pun sebab aku tegur kau pakai selipar kasut sampai ke dapurr.. eiii plisslaaa.. pengotor.. kau ingat ni luar negara ka apa?! Jd kau mop minggu lps nk suruh2 aku pula... oh jap bilik air? Kau betul.. tp air bertakung aku dah cuba guna pam.. cara kau cakap mcm aku xguna pam.. kau cakap sekali buat jerr..hebat lah kau.. betul lah mybe aku xpandai guna.. salah aku.. okay aku akan belajar.. bilik bersepah.. atas katil aku.. elok jer 2biji bantal.. bwah katil xde apa pun.. meja berhabuk.. kau y guna.. aku amik getah rambut jer atas tu! Bwh katil kau penuh dgn brng2 kau.. tp kau nk tnjk kononya kau dah kemas.. payung y aku letak tepi katil kau angkat letak ats tilam.. eh benda tu xmenganggu pun.. xnmpk pun.. kau letak sarang labah2 atas katil.. ya Allah.. manusia apa kau ni? Okay mybe aku jarang pegang penyapu.. tp msa aku bt ak x heboh satu dunia.. kau nak mengungkit.. sikap kau.. update status xingat dunia.. ohh terasa? Memang laa terasa.. sapa lg y tinggl dgn kau.. ehh.. kau ingt aku xtau ka perangai kau.. punca kau gaduh dulu pun.. ehhh.. skrng aku faham.. faham kenapa orang xboleh tahan dgn kau.. kau jatuhkan maruah aku.. aku xkan maafkan kau... kau berapa byk kau update pasal aku.. aku xkan halalkan.. kau kutuk aku.. aku xkan bt mcmni.. xkan update mcmni dekat blog kalau kau xmula dulu.. kau pentingkan diri.. silap besar aku setuju tinggl dgn kau dulu.. kau xtau.. yang kau tahu.. kau dah tlng aku.. hah... yess kau dah tlng aku.. terima kasih.. aku dpt berjimat dgn pertolongn kau tu.. tp kalau aku tau perangai kau mcmni.. sumpah aku xkan terima! Aku y lupa mcmna sikap kau.. ehh bukan aku xpernah bekerja dgn kau dulu.. tp sebab kau aku terima.. aku anggap cakap2 orang tntng kau tu mcm angin lalu..  aku xberterima kasih.. xappereciate.. kau.. mungkin aku xrasa kau ikhlas.. kau.. then.. kau minta maaf.. knapa.. kau kutuk2 lps tu kau blh minta maaf? Suara kau mcm xde apa2.. Ehh boleh jalanlaaa... mcm aku ckp ms awal2.. aku kalau dah benci orang aku xkan layan dah.. kau xpyh nk bt baik atau berlagak baik..  kau post mcm2 psl aku.. aku diam sebelum ni.. tp bkn utk kali ni.. aku dah maafkan kau hrtu.. aku try layan kau okok.. tp kau bt blk.. eh kalau kita ada mslh pun xboleh ka kalau kau xshare satu dunia..  kau nak semua orang tau perasaan kau.. apa y terjadi.. aku mungkin boleh rasa bersalah dgn kau kalau kau xupdate y dulu atau skrng.. dan kau xcerita semua benda.. aku cboleh tgk.muka kau.. kalau kau boleh minta maaf lps kalu kutuk2 aku.. tp aku xkan boleh.. yess aku mmg berniat nk minta maaf guna high tone ms ckp dgn kau.. tp niat aku berubah lepas kau update.. okay.. okay.. beribu ribu perkataan aku karang.. benarlah mata pena itu lgi tajam dari kata2.. aku laksanakan impian kau!!! Tahniah!!


Love,
teamoHada

Monday, April 20, 2015

You are half of trillion DREAM

Tday was the worst day for me after 2weeks of feeling not good.... 
Dear children...
Am i not good for you... why you hv to be disbehave during my sessions... am i not create a suitable and fun activities to you... am i really bad teacher to you.. am i that ugly so you hate to listen to me.. am i not see your strength.. am i just look at your weakness... am i not fair.. am i not good am i not talented teacher.. or after all am i not aprropriate to be a teacher...
Dear children...
I am trying to give my all to you... i know that i am not talented.. i know that i cant sing well with you but i try the best as i can.. i try to think jeorpadize... i try to plan so interactive funactivity. I try to create so many fun learning through play but after all its make more worst... i try to learn each things.. i tryo to be positive on looking to view ur each talent and ability.. i want to be fair and i give my love to everyoinevwas the same.. or did you think i am bias? I hv been children.. i hv been a student and i hate teachers who unfair so much and i try to not be the one like them.. my friend,ur another teacher asks me.. who is the most child you love.. and you know my answer? I love all.. not more or less.. its true.. its came from my heart.. i love each of you.. but children.. sometime like what had happened today just giving me a feeling of gut.. sigh.. and the worst is want to stop dreaming of to be the best teacher.. i feel want to give up and think of this was wrong and i am not suitable for this kind of job...
Dear children...
To tell you the truth.. i want to cry.. i really want to cry like you are.. but then i know i should not.. i am no longer 6 years old.. and i hv to be strong and tend to be strong... today maybe is the worst but today is the past of the present for me to be more better.. i hope so... and i wish for miracle things...
Dear children...
I want thanks for this infinity moments and learning.. i do teaching of you but i believe that i am teaching my self too and i am learning from you.. i am sorry for each of you.. if this eyes left you alone when you need me.. i am sorry if i hv been harsh on you.. i am sorry if i cannot be the special on you and find a special thing about you.. i am sorry..
Yes.. today i feel tired.. i want to stop go to school and get back of my enjoyful life.. but children trust me... during of my days at school..each every second feeling of tiresome.. every second feeling of i want to be more better teacher to you.. each second that replaced by, there will be the moments of i reallybenjoy with you... i dont want to give up.. you are my dream.. because you are half of my dream.. i love you children..sungguh sungguh..
P/s: dear umar and amar
Umar.. cikgu hada minta maaf if there was a time.. you found me look at you that bad.. but i want you know for what you do was wrong.. i try to undersyand you.. try to talk as lower as i can and look at ur eyes but its nothing effect and you repeated the same doing.. you make me fe afraid and you remind me of Ashraf.. umar..  i love you and i want you know that i wont angry..  for nothing not good.. and i want you be good as what i believe that in future you also want to be good and soleh.. am sorry.. from today.. i will find more of ur strength and hope the thing like today wont happen again.. you  make me scared.. you really me scared..
Amar cikgu hada minta maaf... for not being with you.. and you are crying for the pain.. am sorry.. but amar.. i know that somehow you also like umar.. and i hope this kind of thing make you remember.. i am sorry for your pain..
Amar and Umar.. today you are creating another memories.. not only you but also to me..  i will never forget what happened today.. how naughty you are.. how shock you hv made me.. scissor, ear , Umar and Amar... 
after all.. cikgu hada or teacher hada wont give up.. because you are half of my dreams... keep me believe.. semoga yang indah indah saja...
Love,
teamoHada

Saturday, April 11, 2015

Pathetic

I hv friend over a years ago call me like you are pathetic.. that years ago, the meaning i never know... if i turn back the times.. i want ask why the friend call me like that.. i love the friend and never thought that the friend that i call a friend will stab at the back. . But then now i undertand the meaning well.. poor me be back then.. and this years i found another pathetic like me a years ago..
Today i found another pathetic person.. poor this friend.. hypocrite, selfish, another friends and i call this friend.. for the first time... i dont want to speak how much that i dont like this friend.. but then seem i do..i really dont want to speak how much annoyed this friend.. again i do.. anything that this friend did was just a like not sincere.. i cant handle when this friend make face.. sigh with louder.. order people.. use a high pitch tone and i feel more annoyed..
i also still be the same selfish hypocrite.. annoyed to this friend.. we are born as youngest and the pathetic me maybe still there that might the reason this friend and i cant be cope.. i dont like.. somehow i feel.. erghh i hate you.. but just for now it was only the way... being hypocrite or just ignore... this is the first time... i feel that i just a hater.. i feel bad about myself... im not care for what i had or will say anymore.. and this attitude of mine.. i know i might hv give a pain to this friend... im sorry that i could not spread the kindness towards u.. i tried but its just that i cannot...
i hv told myself before to do not keep anything in my heart.. i will talk.. i will say..  i will reject for what i dont like.. and things that i will do or had done.. i know that i hv been hurting people by this attitude.. but i had promise to myself to do not hurting myself anymore.. im sorry.. i might do not care for what you think.. i might care for my things.. im sorry.. i might reject any orders because i hate being controlled.. i hate when people order what should i do what should i dont.. im sorry...
another a month to go..and i pray that i can be patience.. i pray that i can control the feeling.. i pray... i still do pray that i can spread the kindness.. think positive more about this friend.. but after all im just a human.. that also hv selfishness.. can be hypocrite, talk back, a hater.. speak a cruel words.. and more.. im sorry if im not behave like what you think of me.. im not a just a good girl... sorry..
Love,
teamoHada

Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Tiring is awesome

Hmm hmm...
Lama pula xupdate.blog.. hihuhihu.. actly i have so many things in head to tell but it was lost when i want to clear up the mind here... huhuhu..
Now i am busy with some kind of projects, journal, RPH, RPS , ABM , worksheets.. everything that i have done in nursery was double during preschool.. its obvious tiring even though my working time is not crazy like nursery.. sometime i feel not enough of time.. rest.. but after all i am enjoying myself with the children.. the tiresome fly away when the children get this hand to kiss and this body to hug and the mouth to say good bye... i feel good then...
Im not expect to much from children.. because i still believe with each child is different and each child hv their own speciality but then.. i just pray that anything i teach them, play with them, read to them will make them acknowledge precious things even though a tinyi for each child.. i dont mind.. i want at least they learn something... insyaallah..
This journey is going to the end.. i pray that i could complete this testing really well.. i pray for a good and pretty things always appear.. Aamiin..
Ya Allah,semoga yang indah indah saja..

Love,
teamoHada
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