Tuesday, March 25, 2014

heart breaking ONE

Bismillah..

today was my first day... start with my last and final semester.. i have another 9week to be strong.. to have fun..and enjoy everyday.. to take and get all the knowledge.. the benefits and the information... i have to be strong..

yesterday was my last day 2week semester break at hometown.. and the day that i feel really long to stay.. the another thing that i know about myself.. that i want to run if something came up.. i want to walk away if something give me pain.. i could not endure it.. i could not lie and pretend that nothing happen.. i become someone that can't control the emotion.. i feel like want to kick and scream.. when the people force me then i become to being rude..

you people play with my emotion.. you keep repeating the same words and annoying question.. why don't you just accept my answer.. why you need to know the reason? why you use annoying word.. why? what is your reason? i am appreciate for what you have done to me before.. i am sorry for being rude.. but i don't need to ask sorry for any other thing.. i am not done any wrong.. because your words keep annoying me and force me to fight back in any other way.. i just can't talk the truth and you keep other to judge me in a wrong way.. start from today.. i won't tell you anything.. if i am sad.. if i am angry.. if i am scared.. if i am hurt.. if i am happy.. if i am need anything.. i won't.. i won't tell you anything what happen to me here.. i won't let anyone know what happening is here...  your annoying words and i am going to make come true.. not only for few days but for many many days.. i will try my hard to not depend on you, you, you or you anymore...

i try my best to not show my emotion.. to control my word and action.. i told everyone the same reason.. you can't accept and keep judging.. keep asking and using annoying words..  it's better to accept my said either then question me and judging me..if you don't start then i won't end up with that way or this way.. i have my own reason why i do that.. why i don't want that.. to tell you the truth.. never..



love,
teamoHada


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