Menerima kenyataan

3.25am
24 june 2017
Saturday

Masih tidak dapat melelapkan mata. Sedangkan seharian aku begitu aktif.

Dari satu memori ke satu memori ke satu flash present kepada gambaran masa depan.. dari perasaan ingin bahagia kepada rasa pedih menyengat kepada duka tersimpul kuat.

Aku.
Masihkah tidak mampu terima kenyataan.
Masihkah terguris luka.
Masihkah berdendam pada diri.

Kerana memori terbahagi dua;
Bahagia dan duka.
Dan Tuhan ciptakan manusia;
Punyai Akal dan Hati.
Kenapa benar dan salah.
Masih ragu ragu memilih.

Kenangan begitu indah,
Mampu mencoretkan senyuman.
Bukan sekadar dibibir.
Juga seluruh jasad dan roh.

Kenangan tersiat hati,
Bukan sekadar mengamarahkan jiwa.
Malah menyelerak darah.
Bersepah sepah merata.

Sakit yang disimpan
Tersembunyi rapat
Gambaran kenangan
Cuba dihapùs

Dan mana mungkin
Aku mampu
Kerana sakitnya kembali
Pada malam nan sepi.

Tuhan padamu aku pohon
Sinarkan jalan yang benar
Keindahan syurga mu
Impianku.

Limpahkan cahaya
Untuk hati
Sering berbolak balik.

Agar kenangan pahit tersimpul rapi
Semoga kenangan indah sentiasa subur
Biarkan rindu nan indah itu membara
Kerana kenyataan dan kenangan
Tidak akan sekali berubah

Di pejam mata
Di buka mata
Akhirnya tetap sama

Tuhan engkau maha mengetahui akan sesuatu hal yang aku tidak ketahui. Pintaku hanya satu. Bagaimana cara apapun perjalanan hidupku.. akhirilah hidupku akan cinta dan rindu membara padamu. Kerana janjimu akan keindahan syurga adalah impianku.

Dan Tuhan..
selamatkanlah aku dari kejahatan minda. Jiwa dan akalku.
agar aku terselamat dari bahang kepanasan nerakamu.
Dan Tuhan
satukanlah aku dan kesayangan kesayanganmu dan aku di Syurga mu. Impianku...

teamoHada

Happy Daddy Day..Only you

Happy dad month.. i love u so much and i scared and surely don't know what will happen to me if i lost you too.. my life is only to you for now and for my last breath.. insyaallah..even if i know i quite against you.. i quite tantrum.. quite ignorant.. but most of all that.. i really really really love you..

i really soory for a misbehave.. that a young adult should not do.. i really sorry for not being matured enough at this age.. i really sory for yet can't satisfied you even myself with secure future..

dad.. for the time you spending worry about me.. forgive me.. for the time you have to give in.. forgive me.. for the time you have to slow down your voice.. forgive me..

I becoming better person each day..through what i do believe.. i'm going  and i promise.. to be better muslimat and solehah to you and our family.

Ya Allah semoga pengakiran hidupku adalah di Syurga mu dan begitu juga untuk kesayangan kesayanganku. Aamiin..

Love,
teamoHada

Syair Khalil Gibran

Could you keep your heart in wonder at the daily miracle of your life,
Your pain would not seem less wonderous than your joy;
And you would accept the seasons of your heart,
Even as you have always accepted the seasons that pass over your fields.
And you would watch with serenity through thr winters of yout grief.

Senyumlah;Syed Alwi Alatas

teamoHada

Why you kept telling lies when you know that is wrong

When you don't want to lie but you don't have a choice and lie. Mula mula, alaa sikit jer. Tipu sikit sikit bukan nak buat jahat.. Cuma nak elak dari kena tanya banyak2. That all.. hmm.. tp bila dah sekali you tipu.. you akan terjebak untuk menipu untuk scene yang seterusnya..dan scene scene lain selepas tu.. sebab tak nak terbongkar kan..

SÀAAo bila dah xde pilihan you terpaksa create another scene.. itu lah bahana menipu.. walaupun pada dasarnya you xnak menipu or else you xde niat pun nak menipu.. tapi finally you jadi seorang penipu. A big head liar.. dan bila orang lain buat sesuatu yang meragukan you sikit pun.. you dah judge the person is telling a lies.. because why? Because you experience the lies you make..

Sometimes.. you lies because you want to hide something that you dont want to share things with everyone.. but everyone kept asking and force you to tell.. that is the starter of the penipuan. You should earlier.. when you started you have to end.. smooth and quick.. no one can't detect your lies and please ask for a sorry after your matter is settle or you feeling to share later.. and a big point. Later of course it hard for them to trust you again..

So after all.. before you are making a lie.. tell yourself.. can you end the lies? Would you have enough strength to ask for a sorry and making people believe in you again? Jangan jadi seperti pengembala biri biri yang kehilangan biri birinya..

teamoHada