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Tuesday, July 31, 2018

Give up

Salam.

As usual.  Still late sleep.  Walaupun dah menguap berpuluh Kali.

Give up. Hmm. My coworker ask me today.  Have you ever felt give up? Look like I'm questioning myself and answered myself.  This word keep getting twisted in my head. 

I give up but I have to raise my chin.
I give up but my head can't look down.
I give up but I have to open my eyes.
I give up but I my hearing kept sending the message.
I give up but I have my voice.
I give up but I can't close my nose.
I give up but my hands need to walk together with my legs.
I give up but my stomach always need to fill up.
I give up but my brain always working harder.
I give up but my breathing still need the air.
I give up but I have to have brush my teeth.
I give up I need to care my personal hygiene.
I give up but I need to stand up.

Yes.  I do have this.  Often.  But I cannot stand to taste my give up than to fill up all my BUT. 

I'm not good in waiting.  But I'm better in turning my mind about the reward after. So then. I take my breath slowly and hold and hold.  Even though I can feel the burning inside all my body.

Yes.  I do give up.  Yesterday. And now. Let's us fight this energy. Let turn into positive.

P/S: if you own any tips to share.  Let's me know. 

Love,
teamohada

Saturday, July 28, 2018

After a while. Stain still there.

Hi
We meet again dearly diary .

Assalamualaikum.
To start with Salam so I don't spend a waste rubbish word here.  Even though I really need to vomit all bad word. I just don't want to do for now. My feelings is exhausting, messy no jolly mood.  And it's killing me slowly. I have read somewhere but I forgot where and when.

If you love to write then write " a nice things so you will remember how happy you are in the past"

I somewhat agree with the statement. But  you have no loss when you wrote your flaws. You will see your immature part or might see how strong you have been to get through your past. Isn't?  Hmm.

No more word to share.  Just to share last 5 days ago I cried. I don't know is it for good or nothing good. And tonight I cannot sleep earlier . That thought came back after a while.

Oh Allah.  Please don't take me away from you.  Oh Allah...

Love
teamoHada

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